Diary of a Daniel: Archive

Hey everyone, don’t forget to come to @austinscoffee in Winter Park to hear myself play along with @heyedgarjr. The fun starts at 9 so come!

Sep 4th

RT @carlyhallam: I assume Emma Stone plays the shark in Shark Night because otherwise that means she’s not in ANY movies coming out this …

Sep 3rd

‘She’s Always A Woman - Billy Joel’ If it’s been a while go revisit it. #ManCrushingBillyJoel

Aug 31st

Bottled water is stupid. Your parents didn’t have it. Mark my words, canned air is next. #WeBuyAnything

Aug 29th

How adventurous you are directly correlates to the frequency of when you utilize your compass app on the iPhone. #IAmPale

Aug 28th

RT @Spiegelmania: Steve Jobs Announces Retirement, All My Friends Pre-Order Retirement

Aug 27th

I don’t know what’s better, my anticipation for this movie or that Twitter thinks I live at a place called Lake Butter. http://t.co/yPokjsq

Aug 22nd

♫ Free MP3: I Could Be A Drug - http://iLike.com/t/1IcQK

Oct 6th

♫ Free MP3: Hurricane - http://iLike.com/t/1IcNH

Oct 6th

Added the rough edits of my new songs to the page. Give em a listen and feel free to download them also.

Oct 6th

♫ Free MP3: Explode - http://iLike.com/t/1IcQF

Oct 6th

Im fairly sure my new iPhone 4 cures cancer it’s so awesome. Then again I think cell phones also cause cancer. Here’s hoping they cancel out

Jun 25th

RT @JimGaffigan: Out in Vegas last night. I’d like to report we are not slacking off in either the infidel or the douche bag departments.

Jun 25th

Jun 10th

79 notes

A Simple Request of the 2010 Graduating Class

summerlisting: INVENT THE FLYING HOVERBOARD. Yes. That’s right. You heard me. Invent it. Right now. Don’t look so gung ho about taking on life NOW, do you? Not when someone has given you actual work to do. There isn’t a man on Earth who doesn’t wish he could hop on a hoverboard and McFly 1,000 feet in the air to a floating 23rd century taco stand. Hundreds of graduating classes have come and...

Jun 7th

1,717 notes

7 tags

Watch

Another new song. This one is called Explode.

May 15th

Listen

May 13th

7 tags

Watch

One of my new songs Hurricane. If you’ve ever met someone who is a torrential whirlwind of heartbreak for anyone in the path, this song makes perfect sense.

May 13th

Man am I glad I don't sit in a cubicle. My spine... →

May 8th

11 tags

I was just messing around on guitar this morning....

Apr 23rd

I made as much as a blind pilot last year, and they’re taking $107. That’s not even highway robbery, that’s dirt road robbery.

Apr 21st

What the shit nuggets?! I OWE the IRS $107? That makes no sense. That’s like going to Calcutta and stealing someone’s lunch money.

Apr 21st

I’m allergic to cats. I had a dream last night that I was surrounded by cats. Now I have a cold today. Lesson? My mind has powers.

Dec 20th

RT @TonyKolt: There’s a delicious double entendre in Tiger Woods being named “player” of the decade by the Associated Press.

Dec 16th

Come with me if you want to live

We are all going to die merciless deaths at the hands of robots. Call me crazy, but it’s an inescapable truth. I’m thinking it will be a shit storm of Terminator meets I Robot. Technology has a proclivity for imitating science fiction (Cell phones were once Star Trek tricorders and holograms were a special effect, not a practical means of communication, yet Cisco Communications can...

Sep 11th

Come fly with me, come fly, let's fly away

I hate to fly. Many love it, my brother being one of them. I remember as kids he would in fact look forward to the meal on the airplane, which as we all know is a formidable trove of delectables. I, on the other hand, hate the food as much as the flight. Who here has flown on a plane (especially since 9/11)? Show of hands. I know what each one of you are thinking….instant teleportation...

Jun 30th

Drilling for oil? I dig it.

First things first, I’m a moderate. What does that mean? I listen to an issue, decide like a human being on my stance, then proced accordingly. Only an ignorant, close-minded, ass master should make decisions before hearing the issue based on partisan politics. So when I say moderate I mean I agree with some Republican points and some Democratic ones as well. The environment, though, is a...

Jun 19th

Spic-tacular

Some seem to think I would be doing a chronicling of my trip (dubbed “Expedition: Spain”) but in fact I’m only here for 2 weeks and as such have chosen to enjoy it rather than spend much of each day trying to consolidate the previous 24 hours into words. I will, though, throw one out there every 3-4 days, and here goes… Let me start off with my ignorant pre-visit American...

Jun 19th

The Game

My little disclaimer to begin with. I’ve only watched the reality show on VH1, which was quite entertaining btw, and everything I know comes from that, so if you have read the book and my note is completely off or wrong, you can comment to your heart’s content and I won’t care. And if you did see the show, the fat dude, Joe D, is the man. The Game is a book written by Neil...

Jun 6th

Truth of the matter? You suck for MANY more...

What the shit? I mean honestly, what the ever-loving shit? I’m going to throw a word out there and see how hard it stick: reliability. Does that strike any of you as an odd character trait that would make me go crazy for a girl? Well then you haven’t thought hard enough. Let me demonstrate to you the greatest, most wonderful unicorn orgy of a scenario: Interaction between Guy 1, Bob,...

May 20th

Read the previous post before listening to this....

May 12th

I have a voicemail from a man wanting to have sex...

I woke up today as sluggish as I normal do, around the productive time of 11:45 am. Normally I check my phone and have 1, maybe 2 missed calls and the same amount of text messages, but never cool enough to be flooded with any amount of anything. Today was different. I had 15 missed calls and 4 new text messages. 15. I’ll give everyone in the world a hint, if by call number 3 the person...

May 12th

Do you know the rules?

Facebook allows for anyone to buy advertisement, fair enough. I don’t care what is advertised, really, because 10/10 I’m not interested. I think over time each of us has developed a jaded filter towards advertisements, just like girls do to oncoming advances. Advertisers/tactless men would have a better shot if they changed their approaches completely. Anyways. I just saw this and had...

May 7th

You down with LLC? Yeah you know me.

How do you find a great girl? If you really want a short answer, there was almost a 10 minute window between that question and my response. Girls are a fucking mystery. Honestly, if you made an elephant appear in the room, read its mind only to learn the number between 1-1000 I secretly had in my mind, I would be impressed, but only about half as much as if you found a really great girl. Call me...

May 6th

Some people are clinically retarded

I’m about to go to sleep, I go online to check my bank account just to make sure I’m good to eat tomorrow, and on my news feed pops up this headline: Girl Dies After Parents Pray for Healing Instead of Seeking Medical Help. That’s a must click. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,341574,00.html Low and behold, the story was exactly as the title made it out to be. You may be...

Mar 26th

Political incorrectness and intense digressions

It’s 4 something am. I’m tired. I’m semi-coherent. But most of all, I’m upset that I actually said I was going to limit myself to only targeting girls when they are drunk. How preposterous would it be to point out a single area of the female gender when I have so many flaws and material to draw from? Now I’m no sexist, and guys are just about as asinine, but we take...

Oct 7th

2 tags

I drink, therefore I am

Rene Descartes was onto something there. Why can I mirror the ideas of a 17th century philosopher into my blog? Because in this little arena of internet I call my own I can be as incongruous as a fascist voting ballot and not give a shit. “I think therefore I” am transgresses into our psyche more than one would think. In practice, if I choose to think I’m afraid, then I’m...

Sep 11th

Social Interactins 101

Contrary to the title of this blog there will be no procuring or learning of information concerning the enigmatic quandary that is socializing. Did I really need to use so many big words in that sentence? In fact, I will be just bitching about it. The nuances of social interaction are as abundant as the amount of movie critics that hate Paul Walker. So here I go… Setting, house party. Time, late...

Sep 9th

Sick and tired of being sick and tired

I am in fact sick. Though I’m not really sure what I have, I’m pretty sure its AIDS, but luckily I have like 2 weeks worth of Benadryl, so we’re holding down the fort. I tried singing Wednesday night with this chest cold and at first I felt bad for myself because I realized how bad I sounded. Then I immediately stopped and felt bad for everyone else because I’m sure what...

Sep 8th